The new Oxygen television series, Preachers of LA has provided me with so many thoughts about church, ego and most specifically relationships. The relationship that catches my eye the most is the one with Bishop Noel Jones and Loretta. Its a mess.
I have compiled 10 *Side Eye Quotes* from the second show from the holy lips of Bishop Noel Jones, Bryant(Noel Jones driver) and Miss Loretta. Miss Loretta is the woman who is hanging on by a proverbial string by Bishop Jones. Tell me what you think.
1. "See that's why I don't have no time for a woman...really." - Bishop Noel Jones
Noel Jones said that he was too busy for a woman. *side-eye* Really? He just means he doesn't have time for this woman, Loretta. What man doesn't have time for a woman? Of course he has time for anything that he wishes to have time for. Miss Loretta(what I would call her if she went to my church), slap yourself and move on. You are being made a fool of at church, now you are doing it on national TV. Girl Stop.
2. "I haven't felt the bite?" - Bishop Noel Jones
Okay now there are just so many ways that I can take this! Does Bishop Noel Jones really want us to believe that he and poor Miss Loretta just make cookies together? If so, honey...you already know. Second could he be referring to the fact that her "bite" just isn't moving him to want to upgrade her??....This could be physically or emotionally. If you have been with a man for several years(16 years), you want more and he wants things the way they are...honey please move on and yes: Girl Stop.
3. She gets a little more time than the average?" -His Driver, Bryant
4. "She's Pretty." -His Driver, Bryant
"You think she's pretty?" Damb, is this what you even say to another man about your chick? Basically, this man is scoping your chick, but you know she isn't going anywhere-so you arent even tripping. She is that low on your radar. I'm betting she gets a daily text, weekly ring.
5. "Do you think that she could be the REAL Mrs. Jones?" - His Driver, Bryant
"Man just drive the car." They chuckle....They are speaking in jest about a woman who is so serious about being in a relationship with Noel Jones. They have referred to her as a fish. OMG...she is not getting the ring-until maybe he gets sick.
Then there was the conversation between Noel Jones and Loretta...
6. "I dont know what special is." - Bishop Noel Jones
This man suggests that she cook. Miss Loretta gets her panties in a bunch and this behavior just reminds me of the countless "bad grey area relationships" that I have been in. It doesn't matter that Noel Jones is a Bishop working for the Lord and that this woman is a mature business owner. They are playing that same crazy game of cat and mouse and Bishop Jones is the mouse.
7. "I'm constantly pulled in a million different directions preaching all over the world-something has got to give." -Noel Jones
Then Miss Loretta asks Noel about doing something really special-together and romantically. Miss Loretta, the sense of peace and happiness that you are seeking is never going to be given to you. Loretta is a side chick in Noel Jones' life, she can be discarded at any time. He may not have another woman, but he has a whole bunch of LIFE that she is NOT included in.
8. "You need to put something in place if you are really serious." -Miss Loretta to Noel Jones
See I would not have a problem with this suggestion that she made if they were not already like 10+ years into the game. But the fact that she has to suggest that they "make it official" and she is 40+. Girl Stop.
9. "I know that our relationship is hard to define, on a scale of 1-10 if a girlfriend is a 10 and a friend is a 1, then I am a 30." -Miss Loretta
Girl Okay well if this was your man, why on the lower third, thats where the cast members name and relevance it indicated, does yours says "Friend?" Oh because you are a friend boo. You are actually a negative 30.
10. "I'm feeling Noose-ish." -Noel Jones to Miss Loretta
Miss Loretta, you should have immediately backed the f*ck up and packed the f*ck up. Anytime a man feels or indicates that he is being traped-run. This is why you have been chasing him for 16 years, not because he is busy. A man always has time for food and sex. You should be providing both if you are a 30 on a scale of 1-10. He should also be providing you with a ring! He probably feels trapped because you are wrapping the business conversation up with the conversation of your "relationship."
Other Pearl Clutching Quotes:
"We haven't defined special." Noel to Loretta
"If you don't put a system in place, I will." Loretta to Noel
"Im too old for this." Noel to Loretta and the rest of the world
"No, your just right for this." Loretta to Noel Jones
"Friend or Girlfriend, Same thing." Loretta...SMH.
Best quote of the show: "We will be friends until we decided to go to the next level." <<<
Ladies if you get ANY quotes like these you should run like the dickens. He is never going to choose you, potentially he will not choose anybody else, but YOU will NEVER be on the official list-even if you do all of the things that Official Girls Do!
Get Your Mind Right!