My Best Boyfriend was Gay
I was just sitting up and big sighing contemplating my next move thinking about calling up my old boy friend...you know, the gay one, Mr. Dependable. So we didn't have great sex...okay we only had sex a few times a month. But he knew just the right times to kiss me on my forehead, he knew how to hold me all night long when I needed it and we watched Sex and The City Together...and he already knew that I was Samantha...and didn't judge me.
Sounds bad, right, well....
I mean so he was masculine enough to make people only wonder and he was the best damn companion that I have had period. He was great at holding hands and he was cute as hell. He wasn't the type that was all metro, but deep inside I waited daily for him to come out. I'm not going to pretend...I actually have a history of attracting men who have questionable sexuality...and I don't know why.
However, I find that men who are for SURE straight give me the type of heart break and grief that makes it hard for me to focus, work and sometimes eat.
Are We Party Girls on Twitter? @ClassySharelle
It hurts to be 35 and have had relationship after relationship of sh*t that doesn't work. And I always give, how can you give too much when you love somebody?
I have chosen the bad boys, the smart boys, the nerdy boys, the church boys, the foreign boys...then just regular boys...and I am in the same position that I was in at 30. 30 was when I decided that I wanted to finally settle down-and I have not had a TYPE physically that I had to have.
My relationships always seem to start with extreme passion-weather I am physical with them or not, and then I fail to be the priority. Except for with the Gay Boys, they are consistent, affectionate and know how to act at a family function or work event. But that feeling of pure and authentic love is something that is missing. Those moments of being totally 100 with somebody, which you cannot do with a man who doesn't eat fish...that is what I crave.
And here I am...disappointed again and wondering why my best boyfriend was gay and how can I get the type of loyalty from a straight man? Im not asking for Mr. Perfect or even a 6 pack, just honest, nice, God-fearing and straight! I mean damn, where they make them at?...the ones without the wives and girl friends please.
Help a Sista Out.
Sharelle D. Lowery Just a Regular Fabulous Girl