Love and Hip Hop Love Lessons
On Love and Hip Hop there are fist fights, cuss outs and yes peeps going in and out of institutions and "get out of jail parties." We all watch in awe, but sometimes we watch because it is NOT so different from our own lives.
I learned 7 very real love lessons that have made me look at my own life, past, present and future relationships of all types.
[highlight]1. No relationship is black and white.[/highlight] We can easily say that "Mimi is dumb" or "what's wrong with Shae for being the Side Chick?" or "How could Rasheeda deal with Kirk?"
Love Lesson No. 1 - Until you are inside of a particular situation and your heart is vulnerable, you truly have no idea what you will do...or will not do.
[highlight]2. Even if you love somebody, love is not always enough.[/highlight] I feel like Lil Scrappy truly loves Erica, but Erica wants and knows what she deserves and that is a man who is 100% there for her. Lil Scrappy has some crutches that he is leaning on that stops him from being able to love Erica fully. Marijuana, cheating, laziness and his mother all stop Lil Scrappy from giving Erica what she needs.
Love Lesson No. 2 - It should be, but love isn't always enough.
[highlight]3. Mothers & Fathers can have an overwhelming effect on a relationship.[/highlight]
Lil Scrappy has allowed his mother, Momma Dee, to re-attach the umbilical cord back and in essence stop him from being able to develop complete relationships with other people, especially women. I am confident that his mother even has affected the way that he is able to love his daughter. His problem is not uncommon.
Love Lesson No. 3 - I will never be in a relationship with a man who's mother does not respect my very different role in my man's life from hers.
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[highlight]4. Even the most hard core men do not always choose "Bro's over Hoes."[/highlight] I was always taught that men don't put women who could have potentially been sexually promiscuous or even sexually "with" a friend would never be eligible for relationship and marriage status. However, men have hearts like women do. Very forgiving.
Love Lesson No. 4 - When a man is truly connected to a woman, he does not adhere to "man rules."
[highlight]5. The relationships between women are equally as emotionally charged as the ones with men, weather they are romantic or not.[/highlight] When women are truly friends with each other when there is disrespect like how K.Michelle acted out with Mimi then the moods and attitudes can be really aggressive. It makes me think of my own good friends and that dismissing them because I am busy or cup caking with the man du jour will make you face your days without friends. K.Michelle is basically leaving the show less than the friends that she started with.
Love Lesson No. 5 - Love between women is every bit as important as the love between men and women.
[highlight]6. You should not judge other peoples relationships.[/highlight] Your relationship, no matter the nature will meet the disapproval of somebody. It does not feel good. So try harder to understand and be supportive rather than someone who makes a difficult relationship even more difficult.
Love Lesson No. 6 - Judge not, lest ye be judged.
[highlight]7. Real love never really ends. [/highlight]I feel myself in Mimi, think about the great love of my life and I can only imagine that if I had a child with him that I could easily be going back and forth and even feel a sense of entitlement to the beefcake or his time, even if there was a new chick. Because even when there is bad history, you never really stop loving people. Yes, you can love differently, but in the end, once that threshold of love has been crossed-there is very little that can make it turn around.
Love Lesson No. 7 - Be able to deal with your Man's ex wives, and children's mothers. Because when there is blood, they are here to stay.
I never imagined that I would ever take Love Lessons from Love and Hip Hop ATL, but we should learn something from every experience. Even Love and Hip Hop ATL.
Classily Yours, Sharelle D. Lowery