I am the Queen of failed relationships, side chicks taking my place and all other Love Drama.
Well...I'm in love now. *smile*. No really. It has been happening over the past 3-4 months and I cannot imagine how powerful that it will be in the next year. *big-sigh*
Of course I am not falling in love in an easy way, it's long distance, there are Skype Dates, scheduling and time zone conflicts. It's a lot....but above all else there is LOVE.
A First At 36
I have known only puppy love and I know that now. I am a master at enjoying the first 60-90 days of a thing. After that something explodes or implodes and I'm crying spilling my latest beaus intimate secrets to my bestie over wine.
Love for me, until now, has been a selfish experience.
I do not know if life's experiences have made me better or if this was really the first time that I have been really ready for love but one thing that I have learned is that love isn't always pretty, convenient and butterflies are wonderful...but they aren't love.
Loving somebody means patience not for your own selfish needs but because you develop understanding that love does not mean that life revolves around you.
I have bent over backwards many times because I thought that it would cause somebody to "love me more" but it has never happened. But to bend over backwards because well it's best for somebody else...it feels amazing.
I am a baby to this REAL LOVE experience.
1 Corinthians 13 means something so different to me. I can see the type of selflessness that comes from real love. And Butterflies have nothing to do with it.
How do you identify Real Love?
I Corinthians 13
If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecyand can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror;then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.