In life, what can be more comforting than knowing you have a good friend or friends that you can go to whenever times get tough?
Nothing Like Friends
There is nothing more comforting than when you need a listening ear or even when things are great and you are achieving your goals and gaining personal success. Great right? However, you may notice that when things are bad certain friends hover around. They will placate you, pacify you with words that are a bit superficial. Though their words lack substance or depth, you feel good that at least they are there for you.
But are your friends really there for you?
When you do make strides in your life, achieve goals and attain success, you expect to see your friends right there with you. Celebrating with you. After all if they are there when times are not so good, they should be happy to be there when things are better, right? Alas, you notice that some are just not there. They are never there, no where to be found. They don't congratulate you, they don't cheer you on they are just plain missing in action. Fear not though, they are never totally gone, oh no. They can't leave. They will resurface in a few days to a couple of weeks acting like nothing has happened and things are all good. But things are not all good for you. You are concerned that they do a disappearing act whenever things are good for you.
So why is this?
Why are some friends there when things are not so good but gone when things are going well? Seems a bit backwards, right? Most people complain that people are only there when it is all good and gone when it isn't. This behavior is key to a certain type of person typically ones who suffer from narcissism and low self-esteem. They feed off of people's low points as it makes them feel that their life is better and they are more able, capable and successful. But if your life is going well then that is competition for them and they have no interest in helping you celebrate less you take the attention away from them. Somehow they feel that everything that happens around them is reflective of them. They must always be the center of attention even if it is to be the one that shows up to comfort you when you are low.
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Low self-esteem can disguise itself in many ways and narcissism is no longer just about someone who thinks they look good or are the best. These disorders show up in many different ways in all kinds of people. Those who are affected will resort to whatever they feel they must do to fill their needs. Good or bad they must have it and if you are not aware you could very well become an unsuspecting party, front and center in their misguided life.
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Caroll Atkins, Relationship Contributor ClassyBlackGirl.com