Lately I have been writing more about my personal feelings and emotions regarding my life. Weight, specifically my weight, has always been a difficult topic to talk about but also a difficult "life project" to maintain.
I came back to church after being gone for a few months and one of the mothers of the church said to me,
I breathed a sigh of relief because I remembered a year ago that another mother of the church (who shall remain nameless) noted to me that,
Speaking about how slim I had been in past years. This made me feel like "cute" was no longer an adjective to describe me.
Some comments just stick with you, you know?
I workout (a lot) and I talk about health and fitness for regular girls because it's a struggle...and I know that I am not struggling alone.
Then yesterday somebody invited me to like "over eaters anonymous" on Facebook....after I shared my pictures from my trip to Napa. I guess they thought that this would help me.
This may not have been their intent, but I was crushed.
When I slipped on my well-fitting jeans this morning before church and my high heel shoes and I admired my ample body that I had been working so hard to keep healthy and to love. I realized that I had learned some very important things:
1. It's nobody's business what other people think about my weight.
Shade and backhanded compliments are oftentimes not even my sh*t.
*If you are reading this, a LOT of times, other peoples comments are THEIR SH*T.*
2. Nobody should be monitoring my weight, besides me.
I'm not unhealthy and just (last week) hiked 10 miles up hills and through rivers. So it's not as if I'm near dying of obesity. If you and your friends (or Sorors) find my weight struggle a conversation I invite you to look in the mirror and see where you might struggle. Other people's troubles should not entertain you....not even concern you.
3. I need to continue to focus on my health for ME.
I need to focus on my health not because of what somebody else says, but because I love myself. I also want to motivate other women to be healthy because so many Negative Nancy's consistently feel it's their position to discuss your weight, appearance and life.
When somebody makes comments about your weight, your body or any part of your appearance remember that most of those shade throwing Queens or whatever they are...are dealing with their OWN shit. I encourage you NOT to internalize their shit and to in fact focus on loving yourself and being the best (and healthiest) you that you can be.
Only God can judge me...and my weight.
How do YOU feel when people make comments about your appearance or weight?