Do Black Women Have Bad Attitudes?
Have you noticed some of the trends in the commercials on television? Specifically commercials with Black women in them. What I have noticed is how almost all of the commercials that had a Black women in them, portrayed her as rude, angry or bossy. One that was played over and over again at Christmas time was that lotto commercial where the white lady brings the Black lady a gift. When she opens the gift, she sees it is money that the Black lady gave her last year that she is re-gifting. To this, the Black woman becomes loud, and rude almost angry, while the white woman stays quiet and docile, almost frightened out of her skin by this woman's behavior.
So I started thinking, what is the purpose of this commercial? Is it really to say that winning tons of money is so easy that you can re-gift a gift of money? Then if you get a re-gift of money, you have so much money that it will render you irate? Really, does that last part of the sentence really need to be added? If that is the case, then why use a Black woman? It's not like we get tons of commercial opportunities. But it gets deeper. Have you seen the Progressive commercial where the Black woman storms in and she is yelling for Flo? Oh she is ready to get some serious answers from her! Again, we have that same kind of attitude. Totally over the top. Even when we are being positive, we are over the top before we come back down to normal.
The Big Bad Attitude Question
Here is the big question. Who has given Madison avenue these images of us to portray? I'll tell you who, we have! We are all over TV in shows like the Real Housewives of whatever and many other so called reality shows just showing out! We confront each other violently and we dishonor each other in our attitudes and actions not to mention our own selves. Some of us may not have even noticed this trend of commercials. But it is more than those commercials, more and more reality shows starring us are cropping up serving us the same fare. Black women who go from 0-100 in the blink of an eye and who are ready to duke it out to get their point across. The name calling and reputation besmirching is unbelievable.
I am really wondering are we in fact putting out an image of ourselves as Bad Attitude Divas?
Based on several conversations I have had in the past, I know that many Black women are not ready to accept this is the image that is out there far less agree whether it is accurate or not. I, however beg to differ. When the media powers that be are creating commercials depicting Black women as such, you can be sure this is the purveying thoughts and images that is going around. So whether we want to agree, accept or even acknowledge it, it doesn't matter it is already out there. Years prior Black women on TV had a strong, capable behavior. They were the ones to give firm advice and hold the family together whether it was her own family or the family she worked for. She was stern not rude. She was witty, not snappy. These portrayals were true to life. This is how Black women were, back then. So, the behavior we see being depicted now is true too. As our dynamics within our own communities changed, it has spilled over and now others are taking notice.
How can this Bad Attitude be Fixed?
First of all we must know that this attitude behavior is learned. It is a defense mechanism adapted to help cope with being let down and overlooked. To survive, many had to grow a thick skin armed with a biting tongue. However, not only does this not work effectively at levels that matter, it gives such a negative image and persona that it puts one at a disadvantage before any advantages are even offered. It is time to get real. Denial is a river in Egypt! Behaviors must change. Time to let intelligence take over. If black women want something or want to be viewed in a certain way, ask for it and accept nothing less. If less is offered walk away. Exercise control, first and foremost of one's self. Respect one's self enough to realize that bad behavior laced with violence to instill fear will not get your respect. It will get you someone who will challenged you sooner or later therefore escalating the behavior. In the end everyone is a loser! It is so simple and no matter how complicated life has gotten this thought remains true, to get love and respect, GIVE IT!