It's All In The Approach
I was asked a simple question the other day that I feel would make an ideal Ask Jason type of topic. I was asked “How do you approach women?” I had to laugh internally at this because I've never in my life been or considered myself good with women to be giving anyone any sort of advice. I stopped and thought on this question for a moment then said “Perhaps it’s the approach that is the problem.”
My friend is a good respectable guy and doesn't have any major communication issues that I can detect. I told him that personally I don’t approach people directly. If I start-up communication with someone it’s because we’re in a mutual space that provides some kind of connection that makes speaking seem much more casual and not the "come on" that often is the case these days. I can only image what runs through women’s minds when they see a guy walking towards them. Let’s be 100% honest and admit that the male intentions are not always the most pleasant. So many ladies get hit on that it’s almost an automatic force shield to just brush off any stranger. I would suggest that you look for a common denominator between you. Instead of focusing on her looks 100% see what she’s doing and who she’s talking too. What is the space in which you’re meeting her? Speaking to someone no matter what the goal is needs to be fluid and natural. The moment you come across a guy just trying to get some that’s how you’ll be treated.
In addition to that make sure she’s even in a position to be approached. Personally, I hate interrupting people from what they’re doing something and that can go a long way into disrupting a person’s vibe making them non respective to whatever you have to say. If your initiation is going to stop her from doing something say "Excuse me" and apologize for the interruption. Also keep in mind that if she’s not going for it, move on. Do not be overly aggressive to a person that just wants to do what they were doing in peace.
One of the greatest issues I see with how guys approach women is that they act as if the women owes it to them to reply and accept their advances. That’s completely backwards. When you approach folk it is a social gamble and you have to be ready to accept the chance that you may lose. Just as you wouldn't flip the Blackjack table in Vegas, don’t turn ugly if a person doesn't want to deal with you. On a recent flight, my friend that traveled with me, heard a woman behind us expressing some apprehension about flying. He turned around a jokingly asked "Someone scared of flying?" A simple lighthearted comment broke the ice to steady communication throughout the flight. Execution and not taking yourself so serious can go a long way.
For more convo feel free to follow me at @Trueomeganexus on Twitter.