Jealousy is a destructive force that can ruin lives, loves and friendships. When jealousy shows up nothing is ever the same again. Yet, many believe that this negative emotion can be used to achieve positive gains. How they come about this misguided idea is anyone's guess. I can only suggest that because it is an emotion so close to some's nature, they mistakenly believe it can bring good results as no one wants to think that they are negative or are the author of negativity.
Here are the 3 biggest myths of relationship building:
1. If he/she gets jealous that means they won't cheat
I heave heard this so many times and with every occurrence I look closer to see if this can really be true. The answer is no. Jealousy is a selfish and an irrational emotion. Nothing about the actions it authors is sane or level headed. Jealousy is powered by ego and ego is all about itself and as such cares nothing for your best interest. Jealousy makes one jump to conclusions, and make assumptions all based on what ever the person feels they are not getting or may be losing out on. Just because they do not want anyone to have your attention does not mean they will not give someone else theirs. If their jealousy is coupled with narcissism the chances they will cheat is now greatly increased.
2. Jealous mates love very deeply
Much as the thought that jealous mates won't cheat is skewered so is this thought process. This seems to say that all one's irrational behavior that results form jealousy comes from a place of love. Love is freeing, trusting and giving. Jealousy is the opposite. Love promotes, jealousy does not share. Being that jealousy is prone to those feelings and actions, how does that promote love, far less deep love? I believe people are getting love and the irrational need to posses confused.
3. If he gets jealous that means he really loves you
This may sound a bit like myth #2 but it is different. Women who excuse a man's jealous, possessive and out of order behavior because he claims deep love for you or because you yourself believe he must love you so much that he just cannot stand another person having you or being with you. Again, as I said before love is giving, freeing and promoting. Of course no one wants to believe that someone they love does not love them or worst yet leave them. However, those who truly know and understand love get that ultimately wanting your mate to be happy is real love. You take yourself out of the equation and do the loving thing. When you can recognize this, your real and true love is on it's way.
Jealousy is a cancer. There is nothing good that it brings and anything it is part of it will eat away until you are left with nothing. Some say a little bit of jealousy is ok. Again, would you want a little bit of cancer, I think not.
Peace & Light